Thoughts while walking
I walk back and forth to work, two miles each way through some of London's nicer neighborhoods. This gives me ample time to think deep thoughts:
- The BBC is not NPR. Some people might think that's a good thing. But when I brought my radio on my walk one morning this week and tuned in, expecting to find news headlines, I heard instead an in depth analysis of a man who kept putting off important surgery. Apparently this happens sometimes, people postponing surgery because they are scared. Apparently this is a bad thing to do. Apparently the man's wife was quite upset with him. Apparently, a panel of psychologists, psychiatrists, surgeons, and BBC moderators can spend a good chunk of time discussing it. I changed channels.
- London has stupid drive-time radio DJs just like we do at home. But they talk so fast in their fancy accents that I have a hard time understanding them. I resolve to give up on the radio and go back to the iPod.
- There are many gorgeous women in London. They are tall and lean and wear tight fitting shirts and high heels and smile and scowl and smoke. I literally almost ran into two of them just this week. I wasn't aiming for them, honest. And lest you think these were the encounters of romance novels, they both scoffed at me, at my t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers and ridiculously American accent and teeth, and brushed on by. I think of my friend Gordon, who lives here and is rich, smart, handsome, and single.
- In the states, when you walk down a crowded sidewalk, most people walk on the right. Here, there's no consistency. One trip I will try to stay to the right, and I nearly walk into people. One trip I stay on the left - after all, the Brits drive on the left! No matter - there are still near collisions. This supports my theory that because most people are right handed our natural tendency is to drive and walk on the right. However, the British monarcy decided that it would demonstrate its control over the people of the Empire by making them drive on the left, because they could. Now there is an entire population that is confused.
- Is it ironic to listen to the This American Life podcast while walking in London? If the BBC had a show called This British Life, what would it cover? Guys who don't want to have surgery?
- There is a big party in this city, and we are the only ones not invited (Ava says that actually she is invited, but she is too tired to go.) Every third or fourth commercial establishment is a pub, and as the week progresses the crowds spilling forth from these houses gets bigger. On Friday evenings, like tonight, the entire city is at one of the pubs, enjoying their pints, sharing jokes, and laughing at the one guy (me) who didn't get the invite. There are white lines on the sidewalks that contain the drinkers - you can take your pint outside, but must stay within the white lines - so the party-goers stand out on the sidewalks and mock me. It's not paranoia if they really are mocking you.
- On my way home I pass a Rolls Royce dealership, a Porsche dealership, a yacht dealership, and several Bentleys and Ferraris. Recession?
- The weather is inevitably sunny with clouds, periods of rain, and 72 degrees. This is London's equivalent of "morning patchy fog followed by sunshine and 82 degrees". In other words, what happens every day.
- The British take right-of-way very seriously. If there is a crosswalk the cars will absolutely stop for you. But, if there isn't a crosswalk, no chance. They don't even slow down. And there are many intersections without crosswalks on my way to and fro work. I have now learned the route around most of them, but there is still the occasional intersection where I must spit in the face of danger. These intersections have these"look left" or "look right" instructions painted in the street (the confused population, remember), which would be helpful except I frequently read the instructions on the far side of the street by accident and look the wrong way.
